The Dialogue

The Option Process® Dialogue is perhaps the most important tool within The Option Process®. It has profoundly impacted the lives of thousands of people, enabling them to uncover beliefs and attitudes that fuelled discomfort and distress, transforming the way they feel and act. People using the dialogue process often increase drastically their feelings of well-being and learn to create more joyful ways of experiencing life.

At the core of the dialogue is the model known as "stimulus-belief-response". Through a highly respectful and effective system of questions asked with a non-judgmental and non-directive attitude, the Option Process® Mentor provides a space for you, the explorer, to look at your feelings and behaviours and shine a light on the underlying beliefs which gave rise to them. The Dialogue puts you in the driving seat to guide your own journey and determine your destination.

The Mentor:

  • Treats the dialogue as a special, confidential space
  • Asks questions, but makes no interpretations and gives no advice
  • Comes from the Mentor Attitude, which means that they are:
    • Present - completely focused on the explorer
    • Non-Directive - holding no agenda about where the explorer should go in the dialogue or any aspect of the exploration
    • Loving - wanting the best for the explorer
    • Non-Judgemental - completely accepting of the explorer and the content of the exploration

The Explorer:

  • Is their own best expert
  • Is always doing the best they can, based on the beliefs which they are currently holding
  • Is completely in charge of the direction and focus of the dialogue – they can:
    • explore whatever they want to explore
    • respond to the mentor’s questions in whatever way feels most useful to them
  • Whatever direction they take with the dialogue is perfect: there are no right or wrong answers, and there is no such thing as a good or bad exploration

What actually happens:

How the Dialogue tracks what happens:

Preparing for a Dialogue

You will need a space where you can be comfortable and without distraction for the whole duration of the session.   If you will be using Skype over wifi, find a spot which has a good, reliable signal.  If you have them, headphones or a headset, with or without a microphone, can help you to hear me clearly and reduce the risk of getting echo on the line.

If you have never had a dialogue before, or if it's some time since the last one, you may find it helpful to read the pages on this site about the Option Process® and the Dialogue.

Some people like to think beforehand about what they would like to explore, to help themselves make the most of the time. Others decide to look at whatever is on their mind at the time of the session. It's your time, and you can use it to look at whatever you like.

During the dialogue, allow yourself to say whatever you are thinking, without needing to censor it. You don't need to worry about how what you're saying relates to the stimulus-belief-response model - it's the Mentor's job to be aware of that for you.